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Dr. Marc Faber, investment guru, concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the following comments:
"The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car, it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.
The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in the US.
I've been doing my part...
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 2010-05-12 11:01:08 ADMIN   funny0 Com.
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.

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 2010-05-12 10:59:51 ADMIN   school0 Com.
A man is walking along a cliff and all of a sudden loses his balance, slips, and falls off. Fortunately, he has the presence of mind to grab on to the edge, and he's hanging there for dear life. He hangs and hangs and finally yells out: "Is there anybody up there who can help me?"
There's no answer.
He keeps calling and calling. "Is there anybody up there who can help me?".
Finally this big bellowing voice calls back: "This is God. I can help you”.
Just let go and TRUST." Next thing you hear: "Is there anybody ELSE up there who can help me?"
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 2010-05-12 10:59:12 ADMIN   funny0 Com.
Success is just like being pregnant.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you were fu..ked!
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 2010-05-12 10:56:48 ADMIN   funny0 Com.
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free...
You either married it or gave birth to it.
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 2010-05-12 10:56:13 ADMIN   funny0 Com.
Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman...
Why?
Because there is no place like home…
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 2010-05-12 10:55:04 ADMIN   funny0 Com.
A German tourist arrives at a French airport. The immigration officer asks him:
- Occupation?
The German promptly replies:
- No, no, just visiting!
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 2010-05-05 16:55:05 ADMIN   funny0 Com.
Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.
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 2010-03-14 14:52:04 ADMIN   funny0 Com.
The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
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 2010-03-14 14:51:15 ADMIN   funny0 Com.
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